Loving Lola- Ch. 49

I am here for you.

“Damn! Looks like the who city is here tonight,” Giselle says as they arrive at the gallery barely getting through the crowd. They ride around looking for a decent place to park for at least 10 minutes before finding a spot in the company parking lot. They sit in the car for a moment watching as more people fill the gallery, “the whole city came to this thing for real,” Jhené says, “I know right, let’s just go back home,” Giselle says cranking up the car, “Girl! No, we are here to support Lola, get out of the car. Your ass would say that after it took forever and a day to find a parking spot.” After a while of standing in line, they finally make their way to entrance. They each grab a flyer and pamphlet from the host, and just as they are entering, something stops Jhené. Not looking ahead, Giselle bumps into her from behind, “What the he-” Jhené grabs her arm and points her in the direction of Lola and their father, “oh shit…” “I didn’t think he would come,” Jhené says in a low voice, “what!? You invited him here?!” Giselle whispers in a panicked tone, “no! well… not really. I may have said something about it and then got upset when he started doing what dad does, so I slammed the flyer on his desk and left…” “Lord!” “I didn’t think he was going to show up though!” They watch the interaction between Lola and their father from a distance until they see Lola storm away. Their father adjusts his tie and walks into the crowd disappearing from their sight, “wait he’s staying? Why isn’t he leaving?” Jhené says looking for him amongst the crowd of people, “we have to go find Lola” Giselle says. Jhené looks at her with a surprised expression, “what happened to only here for support?” “Sigh, that’s exactly why we have to find her.”

Sam and Sophie arrive and are instantly entranced. They walk around marveling at the different pieces on display, “this gallery is amazing,” Sam says in awe. “I’ve lived in this city for almost 6 years now, and I have never stepped foot in here,” “well every time I’d ask you to come with me, you would just get mad and start yelling about how this wasn’t your life anymore,” Sophie says in rebuttal. “I was in a bad place… who knows, maybe if I would have just given it a chance and seen this place, it probably would have sparked my fire sooner,” “or made you even more reclusive.” Sam looks at her, “the point I’m trying to make is, only you could have gotten your spark back. You lost faith in yourself, so you had to be the one to believe in yourself again to get it back. Lola helped you see your greatness, but you are the one who made the first step. I thank her for whatever she said to make you feel inspired again, but remember it was Sam that had the final say so.” They continue walking looking at all the displays, “just think, your name could be here up on display one day,” Sam stops walking. Sophie turns and looks at him, “you okay?” “Thanks for always believing in me Soph. Hearing you say how great I was at this, or how I had so much potential to do that, made me feel like an even bigger disappointment because I didn’t feel that I was that guy anymore, yet, you never gave up on me… I will always be grateful for that.” Sophie puts her arm around his neck, “well if you really want to thank me, you could submit a piece for next year’s showcase,” “hahaha, let me pay off the studio first sis; but, there’s no harm in planning ahead. Sophie smiles and they continue admiring the pieces together.

Lola rushes off to the bathroom to clear her head running into the stall locking the door behind her. The door of the bathroom opens shortly after, so she reaches for the tissue but is stopped when she notices there isn’t any, “shit!” She says quietly, sniffling and wiping her face with her hand. Suddenly, there is a knock on her stall, “someone’s in here,” she says with her voice shaking. They knock again causing her to get upset. The person does not move from in front of the stall. Lola angrily opens the door, “I said someone is in here!” but is shocked to see her sisters standing there, “we just thought you might need to talk,” Giselle says holding tissues.

Loving Lola- Ch. 13

Mixed Feelings.

Sam arrives back home and is greeted by Tiana as soon as he walks in the door. He picks her up and squeezes her tight, “Uncle Sam, you’re squishing me!” Tiana says laughing. “Don’t ever change Tiana, not for anyone, okay?” He says giving her a kiss on the forehead. Sophie comes around the corner and looks at them, “Don’t ever change huh? So, I take it the meeting with Lola went well?” Sam puts Tiana down and gives Sophie a hug. “I think I’m going to start painting again,” Sophie hugs him back with excitement, “Really?! Why? I mean great! But what changed?” Sam releases his embrace, looks Sophie in the eyes, and walks away. Sophie and Tiana look at each other confused. “Umm, do explain this strange, but refreshing change of attitude please,” Sophie says following behind him. “All this time… I’ve waisted so much of my life not believing in my talent. For so long I hoped someone could feel what I feel when my brush meets the canvas, and she does.” “Who, Lola?” Sophie asks. “I’ve always appreciated how you’ve never given up on me; you and mom have always seen the beauty in my art and your support has never faltered, even when I gave up on myself… but Lola actually sees the stories I create behind every brush stroke. She can feel every emotion I pour into a piece and can visualize its concept, and it speaks to her. I wanted it to be her, and it always has been.” “I’m still confused though, what has she been?” “It’s okay Soph, thank you for pushing me to speak to her,” he says giving her a big hug. “Dinner’s on me tonight, anything you want!” “Oh, oh, I want pancakes!” Tiana yells out. “Great! I can do a little breakfast for dinner; what about you sis?” Still a little perturbed, she raises an eyebrow, “come on, anything you want,” Sam persists. “Steak?” she says smiling. Sam and Tiana claps with enthusiasm, “Steak it is!” “What about you Uncle Sam?” Tiana asks. “Hmm… I think I want pasta.” “Pancakes, steak, and pasta?” Sophie says, “looks like it,” shrugs Sam, “Well, I guess we better get cooking then” Sophie says rolling up her sleeves.

“Buying us doughnuts does not change the fact that you made us worry,” Jhené says. “I know, I know… but did they at least help?” Lola says bashfully. Jhené and Giselle look at each other, then back at Lola, “only because they were hot and fresh,” says Giselle biting a doughnut. “Thank goodness,” Lola says letting out a sigh of relief. “You’re still not off the hook though,” Jhené assures her, “what happened?” “Yes, because I know these doughnuts came with some tea, so spill.” “Honestly, I don’t know,” dye says plopping down on the couch, “I met him at the bar like we planned, he gave me back my phone, told me we went to university together and then he left.” “Wait, wait hold up, this Sam is the same Sam you obsessed over your last semester of college?” Jhené asks. “Obsessed is such a strong word, I just showed a lot of appreciation for his work.” “The same Sam that made you throw away all the progress you made into becoming a public relations specialist for dad’s company to only become a curator at the gallery Sam?” says Giselle. “First of all, tell me how you really feel! And secondly, he did not make me do anything, I chose to not pursue a career at dad’s company, no one forced me to do it, it was MY CHOICE.” “Okay, okay you’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any harm by what I said, you know I will always support whatever you do, it just took us all by surprise when you suddenly changed course like that to pursue the job you’re doing now… We just had a plan you know?” “Yeah, I’m just surprised that after all this time you met him again,” Jhené says. “I know, and I’m sorry that I didn’t give you guys a heads up back then, but I knew that if I would have told you what was going on, you would have tried to talk me out of it.” Giselle and Jhené sit silently. “Yes, my job may not be up to par by cooperate standards, but it makes me happy. Meeting incredibly talented people who produce astounding works of art makes me feel whole, and that is a feeling I would not have discovered if it were not for Sam. You can be angry with me, just like dad, but regardless of your personal feelings towards him, Sam helped me find my missing piece, and I will always be grateful to him for that.”

Loving Lola – Ch. 2

Giselle and Jhené.

“Jhené! Did you call Lola? You know how long it takes her to get ready”. “Yeah, she said she would be ready by 10, but she didn’t sound too excited about going out with us”. “She has been cooped up in that house too damn long, how does she expect to heal and move on if she just locks herself inside all day and night?” “I agree. I just hope she actually tries to have some fun tonight”.

“I’m not going”, Lola says while standing in the middle of her bedroom wearing only her bra and panties. “They’re going to be so mad, but I don’t care. I don’t have anything to wear, I haven’t worked out in like a month, and I don’t even know where we’re going! Ugh, I hate when they do that, they know I don’t like surprises. Fuck it, I’m just going to call Giselle… maybe I should call Jhené instead, she’s more reasonable to deal wi-” Ding Dong! “Damnit!” Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, “REALLY?” “We’re going to keep knocking until you open the door!” “And your ass better have some clothes on!” Lola looks in the mirror, still in her bra and panties. She approaches the door and looks out the peep hole. “Um, yall should probably go without me,” Bang, bang, knock, knock, bang, knock, knock, “Oh my god! Yall are so childish?!” “Open the door Lola!” bang, knock, knock, bang “Fine! Just stop banging on my damn door!” Lola unlocks the door and runs to her room. Giselle turns the knob and push the door open, “did she really unlock the door and run away?” “And she calls us childish”.

They walk in and find Lola sitting on the floor in her closet, in her underwear. “Lola”, Giselle crouches down next her, “Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Jhené walks around the room looking at the clothe catastrophe she has created, “I knew this was going to happen”. Lola falls back on a pile of clothes behind her, “I couldn’t find anything to wear” she says throwing a t-shirt over her face. “All this crap in here and you couldn’t find anything decent to wear?” “Well maybe I could have if I knew where we were going!” Jhené walks into the closet, “Girl don’t even try and use that, your ass just didn’t want to go in the first place”. “Okay, so if yall knew that, why are we even going through all of this?” “Because,” Giselle grabs Lola by the ankles and drags her out of the closet, “you need to get out of this house! We gave you more than enough time to sulk; it is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and have some fun”. “Exactly,” Jhené interjects, “and it stank in here! Can I open a window or something? Please!” “It does not stink in here!” Both holding their noses, “yes it does.” “That is a shame, you’ve been in here so long your nose can’t even tell the difference anymore.” Jhené walks over to the window, “I’m just going to open this, we need some fresh air in here pronto.” Lola stands up and peels a silk blouse from her leg, “or, yall could just leave. Apparently, I need to clean so I shouldn’t go out anyway”. “Shut ya ass up and get dressed!” “But I don’t know what to wear!” Lola wines. “FIND SOMETHING!” Giselle and Jhené says in unison. “And hurry up! It’s almost 11 and I want to still get in for free!” Lola looks around her room in disgust, “I guess I could have cleaned up some.”

After 45 minutes, Lola emerges from her bedroom room and finds Jhené and Giselle in the kitchen taking shots. “I don’t care who it is, but one of yall gone buy me a new bottle.” They both turn and see Lola dressed and ready to go. “OKAAAYY! Where are you going dressed like that?” says Jhené. “What?” Checking herself in the mirror, “see, this is why I told yall to tell me where we were going!” Giselle putting her shoes back on, “Girl calm down, you look great. I actually forgot you knew how to dress.” “Shut up! Can we leave now please?” “I know miss take forever and a day is not rushing us! Get your shit and come on.”

Self Love

I want you to burn that shit inside your mind.

Put it on repeat, and then rewind.

It’s appreciating every piece of the bad;

Going into the future, and from the past.

Acknowledging that you may have some flaws,

And loving that shit just because.

Knowing your perfections are built in those,

And understanding that none of you can be disposed.

It’s more than saying it to get through the day,

But believing it every step of the way.

Realizing that YOU ARE good enough,

Especially when the smooth turns to rough.

It’s more than having confidence,

Because self love doesn’t create narcissists.

You are both important and competent,

Worth loving, and is proud of it.

But mostly, it’s about forgiveness.

Really, being able to bear witness.

And loving everything you have to offer;

The ugly, and the beautiful with no falter.

– S.T.

Be You

While the world is just so black and white,
Your color pallet is very bright.
Why are you like this? Not like the rest,
Dying to fit in, yet no one’s impressed.
When they see things only with their eyes,
You use your mind, but that’s no surprise.
And yet you try to dumb yourself down,
Hoping that one day they’ll come around.
Knowing that you were born to stand out,
“Just be like them” is the nonsense you spout.
What is so wrong with being yourself?
More so, why be like everyone else?
Don’t you think your time’s overdue?
Isn’t it better for you to be you?
Why do things differently,
nobody knows,
But in a colony of penguins,
you’re a flamingo! 

Learning that you don’t have to belong,
in a sea of disapproving eyes,
Will only show that being yourself,
is the most important prize.
– S.T.

First Day

On this first day, I’m discovering myself.

I am open to opening doors.

All of the fears of falling behind,

are left sitting there on the floor.

This is the first day, not just for me,

but the first for everyone;

so it is okay for those students and teachers,

to lay back and have some fun.

Whoever said first days weren’t scary,

didn’t relay the truth

the scariest moments become the most memorable

and you realize the fear was never in you.

The thought of the moment took the cake,

and gave you a sour taste,

but when you discover all that you are,

you’ll see that the first day was something to embrace.